Once you have achieved the ‘what’ that worked, you have then discovered the ‘how' it’s done!
There is one word that is very effective at keeping people at a standstill. It is a word that I encounter often from my clients in coaching sessions. It is a word that is thrown out on numerous blogs and you tube videos. It is a word that intrigues people to read on and hope they find the answers to all their problems. It is typed into google millions of times a day, and though it can be incredibly helpful to people in the right context, it can also be a trap for many.
That word is…How.
Now I’m not dissing the word how, or the fact that it makes up a strong part of many questions. I just want to put a warning out there that this word can at times be deceiving to the individual who is hell bent on finding a quick fix in their life, and here is my reasoning.
If I were to say to a client, “this is how you get this result”, I am making a gross assumption that the solution that I am giving them is going to be the silver bullet that they have been searching for. This is unfair, and also untrue. Not everything works the same way for everyone.
I had a interior plastering business, and was very good at what I did. Now, when I trained guys in the trade, I would show them ‘how’ I do it, but the main thing I wanted, was for them to see me in the motions and observe the desired out come. Then, as they started to apply the techniques, over time they inevitably adapted the application to suit all their variables. They may be shorter, or taller. Be heavier or lighter. They may have a disability or more ability than me. Some guys didn’t like to hold the tools the way that I did, and to be fair my method was a little unorthodox compared to many other plasterers. But the way that I did it worked for me. And that was the main advice that I gave to the employees that I was training, “do what works for you, you know the result that is required, now do what you need to do”!
I can safely say that the guys that stuck with me for a good amount of time become some of the best in the trade. Not because of what I did, but because of what they did. All I did was support them, offer advice when they asked, keep an eye on quality, and allow them to unravel the talent within themselves. This was the most rewarding part of being in the trade, and a very fulfilling part of being an employer, or as I like to say ‘a coach’. Thats where the desire to be a Life Coach started for me. I realised that I didn’t need to teach anyone anything, if I just simply allowed them the space and encouragement to trust themselves, take risks, and do what worked for them, they would nail it…And if they stuck at it, they did. This is true now for all of my coaching clients, and the great part is, that they can take full ownership for their results.
Just as I am writing this I received a message from a client who is experiencing a struggle. Now he has put to practice what I have recommended to him. I say to all my clients, “If you feel you have hit a wall, are stuck or feel defeated, contact me”. This is where they get SUPPORT. From here we will initiate the word of inner solution, power, and esteem. WHAT!
It's that simple. What are you going to do? Don’t worry about how you are going to feel better or fix a problem. The best thing you can possibly do, is do something! Of course, it must be positive in nature to ensure a positive outcome. It doesn’t have to be something big, and in fact, small actions are best at first, so you see measurable and instant results.
When you ask “what am I going to do”? You open the part of the mind that identifies the multiple opportunities that can be all around you. This then gives you options, and a sense of choice. The ability to choose generates the feeling of freedom and pleasure. If what you choose to do doesn’t give you the desired result then you simply ask “what next”? Remember nothing is wasted, failures are lessons, lessons are growth, and growth is what we all want.
When you ask “how am I going to do this”? You can cause narrow thinking and the idea that the ‘how’ will work. If it doesn’t work out, you run the risk of giving up. How, is a word which is best used in retrospect. Once you have achieved the ‘what’ that worked, you have then discovered the how it’s done! This is the key.
Nike said it best. “Just Do It”. And thats what I’m saying, just do it! Do what?….exactly! What is "it"? It is something. So, you do it, and do it, and do it, until it is done! Or, in other words, you do something, and do something, and do something, until something is done, and eventually, something will be your HOW.
So. The next time you talk about your dreams and ambitions that you want to achieve in life, and somebody ask’s you “HOW are you going to do it”? Say, “I’ll let you know when I’m done”. Then GO! And do what-ever it takes!