I met God in the supermarket. 20 years ago. It was unlike any moment I had ever experienced, or have since...

It was an on the spot enlightenment which is still unfolding for me to this day. With the original intention to buy some 2 minute noodles, I walked out of the supermarket with no food, but a profound revelation. "I just met God" I told my flatmate when I got back home. He was understandably confused and intrigued by my statement, as were my other friends and family that I shared the experience with.

You see, I had never been religiously inclined. I used to give christians shit whenever I ventured on drunken expeditions into the city. So maybe I was asking for it?

The thing is, the experience was not a religious one. It was a spiritual experience, and one that is very hard to put into words.

After the intense download of what I can only call 'cosmic insight', I proceeded to share my knew understandings about God, that strangely only fully became apparent to me, as the words left my mouth.

For close to two years I would speak of spirituality wherever and whenever. Yet I hadn't read any scriptures or spiritual writings. People I would talk too were often very open to what I was disclosing. It seemed to resonate with many people on a very deep inner level. It was openness, acceptance, encouragement, and gratitude that flowed effortlessly into the hearts of those that were receptive. This changed somewhat when I eventually found myself following a friends steps into the christian pentecostal church. From here I took on the Christian doctrine and allowed my newly constructed beliefs to irritate and polarise my friends and family.

I travelled down that road for around 13 years, and eventually found myself full circle, back to the place of the personal experience and inner reference that is the spiritual journey. Once again I found myself able to converse with almost anyone on spiritual matters without defence or offence. And I can now see how that all makes perfect sense.

The spiritual path is one that can only be known by the traveller. No different than a physical journey. Sure, you can journal, document, take photos and share endless stories about your worldly travels. But that really means very little to the one that is the recipient of your spoken experience. It may cause intrigue and some insight for the listener, but at the end of the day, only the actual experience is the genuine article.

We can't have another persons experience, and this is almost self evident that the spiritual journey is one that you must take on your own. For it is essentially a journey to The Self. How could you ever expect to know God unless you first come to know yourself. And in this age of incredible technology and constant distraction, it is any wonder that people get a half minute to sit and be acquainted with their inner being. And I mean BEING, not thinking or doing.

When I have guided people into an inner conscious state, they often experience something that is unusual, insightful, and yet innately true for them. It is the state I call 'knowing'. This knowing, goes beyond judging or concluding, it is more of a rediscovery of all that has always been there within.

Now this journey can absolutely be made easier with a guide, and I don't mean guide in the tarot card, palm reading sense. Im talking about someone that has invested many hours mapping out and walking the inner terrane of the self.

Much like the Sherpa people of the Himalayan region of Nepal. They have become regarded as master mountaineers and guides due to their adapted capabilities in high altitude and knowledge of the environment. They have guided thousands of mountaineers from around the world to the peaks of the Himalayas, including the summit of Mount Everest. The great mountaineer Sir Edmund Hillary was the first to reach the top of Mount Everest, but it was not without the guidance and support of his Sherpa guide Tenzing Norgay.

In the same way the mountain we clime within, can be challenging and difficult without guidance from somebody that has ventured the inner environment themselves. with that said, the guide cannot have your experience. That is your part to play and realise.

So we take the journey on our own, but we don't have to do it alone.

I have come to understand that Jesus lead people in a similar way. He pointed people to seek the kingdom within, and when people were healed in His presence, instead of taking any credit, He was noted as saying "it is YOUR faith that has healed you"!

Faith is the spirit of inner knowing. It has nothing to prove, but everything to share. The word 'faith' comes from the latin 'federe' which literally means 'trust'. Trust is something that is deeply personal to the individual. It is not something that you can be easily convinced to have, because it is only realised through your own perceptions, conclusions and experience.

Belief is different. It is often looking for proof. As with the old saying "I'll believe it when I see it". As apposed to faith that says "I will trust it when I feel it". Faith is the intuition at play. Belief is cognitive reasoning, conviction and ideology. Belief attaches oneself to ideas, religions and social constructs offered by the world. Faith connects oneself to the self. It connects you to the only thing that you can ultimately trust in the world. You.

This is why I see the work of self improvement as spiritual work. It starts and finishes in the realm within. It can only ever happen from within. When I tell a client that we are doing spiritual work they seem to have no problem with that concept at all, because I am not forcing my beliefs upon them. I am simply helping them to navigate the vast expanse within themselves, and to learn that they are the answer to all their questions. The clients that I see coming to the greatest results in what they are wanting, are the ones that have learned to trust themselves. In other words, they become faithful.

Most of us have the same idea and understanding about the ego as the next person. But what actually is it? Is it the puffed up guy that struts around thinking that he is hot shit? Is it the pretty girl that flaunts her aesthetically pleasing look in public in a way that seems to insist that she is better than any other? Is it the executive that lauds his power over his employees and colleges as a constant reminder of who is the top dog? Well, yes...And no.

The ego is a far more insidious construct.

Construct is the best word to describe the ego. You see, you were not born with an ego, you constructed it from your learnings, and the insistent bombardment of the social structures and cultural norms. It is a construct built in partnership, between YOU and the world. The ego is impressed upon you, and over time you come to believe that it is actually you.

Observing a baby when it is born into the world, you soon notice that it seems to have no control over its body movements. It doesn't yet know how to avoid scratching its own face, or keep its limbs still. Its as if the baby's body is doing whatever, randomly. This is because the baby has no sense of separation between body and environment. When it was in the womb there was no way for the baby to conceive that it was separate from it. Then, all of a sudden it goes through one of the greatest traumas it will ever experience. Being born. The environment has changed completely, but still there is no communication for it to conclude that it is separate from the environment. Everything is simply sensation, and observation.

To be in a state of oneness with everything around you for a grown adult is what many would call transcendence. So you can see how a new born comes into this world from a transcendent state of consciousness. It is everything, and everything is it. There is no concept of this and that, here and there, I and other. It is not long however before this beings parents, caregivers, support networks, siblings and the like, assure the child through language and demonstration that I am me, and you are you, and this is that and soforth.

It is understood in child psychology that an infant grasps the idea of a separate "I" at around 18 months of age, but could be as young as three months. It is at this point that personal characteristics really begin to solidify and the birth of the ego has begun. The ego is continually encouraged to grow through schooling, training and social interaction. The "I" begins to seek to obtain that which it now perceives is other from itself. From here comes the concepts of possession, lack, security and fear.

Soon the child is attaching meaning to its learnt thought process and interactions, and new emotive responses begin to emerge. By the age of seven the child with the help of its cultural input has structured a base personality that will be its platform in the world it now fully believes it is separate from.

The ego has firmly established its own voice, so much so that it has now become the dominant inner monologue within the persons mind. As the person grows, the mind compiles more information, constructs new meanings, and ever increasing conclusions and beliefs.

Now the ego (the construction of "I") is convinced that it is the self. But the true self comes from a place of simply being, just as a baby is when it is ineutero and freshly born into the world. While the ego is nothing more than constant thought. And it is from here that we can see how the ego can cause havoc for the individual, and often does.

There is a very important thing too understand. The ego wants for only one thing. It has an insatiable need to prove that it is real. It strives to stamp its personality on the world, and in some cases retreats inwardly to torment the self into believing that everything that the ego perceives that it is separate from is conspiring against it. All the while 'the self' keeps quiet as it always has from the beginning, sometimes becoming heavily grieved by the neurosis of the ego.

The self feels no need to prove anything, because it knows it is everything. The ego is always trying to prove the personality, because it knows that it is only thought, and without the expression of thought it will cease to exist. So it keeps the self in a constant shroud of thinking and doing.

Now, it is necessary that you have an ego, as it has been developed and inserted into you from the world, for the world. Without an ego you could not survive or function in the world. See, the very word 'world' comes from an old english word to mean 'age of man'. So the world is also just a construct. It is no more than a concept. You could then say that it is simply a thought, or collective ego. The world grows egos...The earth grows conscious beings.

So the problem is, that today more than ever, we are living from our ego's and neglect to come to know the self. The explosion of technology is continuing to strengthen the ego by giving it more devices and distractions to cover up The Self , and thus, leaving us with a multitude of

human-thinkings, and minimal human-beings. A baby just is, most adults just think.

How do I know this? I am in contact with people everyday that grieve over how their mind is running at a million miles an hour. It interferes and disrupts so much of their being and activity that for some they feel that they can no longer take it! Is there a solution? Yes

The first thing is to realise that you are not the ego; (your thoughts and beliefs ). The second is to understand that the ego is not meant to be in charge of your life. It is no more than a collection of thoughts, conclusions and habits. It is everything that the Self is not. The ego is meant to be in service to the Self, for the Self is everlasting. It is pure consciousness. It is the you that was born without separation. The Self that woke up having never gone to sleep...

Every persons position and circumstance is different, so to bring things back to balance where the Self is realised and the ego is servant, is best obtained with coaching and guidance. This is what I specialise in as a life coach. So to see if coaching can be helpful to you, please contact me for your free consultation.

kori@heartmindhealth.co.nz

Once you have achieved the ‘what’ that worked, you have then discovered the ‘how' it’s done!

There is one word that is very effective at keeping people at a standstill. It is a word that I encounter often from my clients in coaching sessions. It is a word that is thrown out on numerous blogs and you tube videos. It is a word that intrigues people to read on and hope they find the answers to all their problems. It is typed into google millions of times a day, and though it can be incredibly helpful to people in the right context, it can also be a trap for many.

That word is…How.

Now I’m not dissing the word how, or the fact that it makes up a strong part of many questions. I just want to put a warning out there that this word can at times be deceiving to the individual who is hell bent on finding a quick fix in their life, and here is my reasoning.

If I were to say to a client, “this is how you get this result”, I am making a gross assumption that the solution that I am giving them is going to be the silver bullet that they have been searching for. This is unfair, and also untrue. Not everything works the same way for everyone.

I had a interior plastering business, and was very good at what I did. Now, when I trained guys in the trade, I would show them ‘how’ I do it, but the main thing I wanted, was for them to see me in the motions and observe the desired out come. Then, as they started to apply the techniques, over time they inevitably adapted the application to suit all their variables. They may be shorter, or taller. Be heavier or lighter. They may have a disability or more ability than me. Some guys didn’t like to hold the tools the way that I did, and to be fair my method was a little unorthodox compared to many other plasterers. But the way that I did it worked for me. And that was the main advice that I gave to the employees that I was training, “do what works for you, you know the result that is required, now do what you need to do”!

I can safely say that the guys that stuck with me for a good amount of time become some of the best in the trade. Not because of what I did, but because of what they did. All I did was support them, offer advice when they asked, keep an eye on quality, and allow them to unravel the talent within themselves. This was the most rewarding part of being in the trade, and a very fulfilling part of being an employer, or as I like to say ‘a coach’. Thats where the desire to be a Life Coach started for me. I realised that I didn’t need to teach anyone anything, if I just simply allowed them the space and encouragement to trust themselves, take risks, and do what worked for them, they would nail it…And if they stuck at it, they did. This is true now for all of my coaching clients, and the great part is, that they can take full ownership for their results.

Just as I am writing this I received a message from a client who is experiencing a struggle. Now he has put to practice what I have recommended to him. I say to all my clients, “If you feel you have hit a wall, are stuck or feel defeated, contact me”. This is where they get SUPPORT. From here we will initiate the word of inner solution, power, and esteem. WHAT!

It's that simple. What are you going to do? Don’t worry about how you are going to feel better or fix a problem. The best thing you can possibly do, is do something! Of course, it must be positive in nature to ensure a positive outcome. It doesn’t have to be something big, and in fact, small actions are best at first, so you see measurable and instant results.

When you ask “what am I going to do”? You open the part of the mind that identifies the multiple opportunities that can be all around you. This then gives you options, and a sense of choice. The ability to choose generates the feeling of freedom and pleasure. If what you choose to do doesn’t give you the desired result then you simply ask “what next”? Remember nothing is wasted, failures are lessons, lessons are growth, and growth is what we all want.

When you ask “how am I going to do this”? You can cause narrow thinking and the idea that the ‘how’ will work. If it doesn’t work out, you run the risk of giving up. How, is a word which is best used in retrospect. Once you have achieved the ‘what’ that worked, you have then discovered the how it’s done! This is the key.

Nike said it best. “Just Do It”. And thats what I’m saying, just do it! Do what?….exactly! What is "it"? It is something. So, you do it, and do it, and do it, until it is done! Or, in other words, you do something, and do something, and do something, until something is done, and eventually, something will be your HOW.

So. The next time you talk about your dreams and ambitions that you want to achieve in life, and somebody ask’s you “HOW are you going to do it”? Say, “I’ll let you know when I’m done”. Then GO! And do what-ever it takes!

Peace

"We weren't born to comply, we were born to fly"

Would the real you please stand up!

How much of you life is covered up with TV watching, social media, people pleasing, and all the other things you do, that prevent you from being your true authentic self? It is vitally important that you ask yourself this question, because the truth of the matter is, you have a limited time on this earth plain reality, and your time is best spent being the person you know you were born to be.

You have something powerfully important and lasting to give to the world before you leave, but it cannot be delivered through the filters of the world that many of us are covered over by. It will, and can only ever be given by the REAL YOU!!

Okay, so...What is the real you? It is the fearless, untamed, un-named, intuitive and completely conscious part of your being that has always been. It knows without thinking, it perceives without dissection, it understands without teaching.

The real you, was you when you were born, it is you, in the now, it will be you when you die. All the other places in between in life, are the constructs of your persona, and your persona is the conditioned, moulded and influenced part of you that can only feel true acceptance from the world. The Real You however, will only ever be truly accepted and loved by the self.

How many people have gone to the grave with a dream that was never lived, with stories that were never told, with songs that were never sung, with art that was never expressed, with visions and desires that were never realised? Dr Myles Monroe said “The wealthiest places in the world are not gold mines, oil fields, diamond mines or banks. The wealthiest place is the cemetery. There lies companies that were never started, masterpieces that were never painted… In the cemetery there is buried the greatest treasure of untapped potential.” But why?

The only answer can be FEAR. Fear of people seeing the REAL YOU. Fear of people not liking or understanding the real you. Fear of criticism, ridicule, slander and shame, and being told that it cant be done. So you, out of fear, begin to form a mask, so that you won't be seen for who you really are. This is where your personality comes from.

The word 'Person' is derived from the latin word 'persona', meaning the actors mask. As we all know, a mask is worn to cover the real being behind it. It grants them the ability to be something that they are not. To entertain, amuse and appease the world around them, and gain the acceptance and applause that they are desperate to acquire. All the while, beneath the mask is someone that wants to realise the passions, purpose and potential within. These are the very things that can set them free from the confines and expectations of the world. Gracing them with the freedom to embrace self acceptance, fulfilment, peace, joy, and the will to BE!

The real you doesn't give up because of failure. The real you is willing to fail over and over again until you succeed. How do I know this? Well, if you have the ability to walk, it is due to the fact that when you were learning to walk as an infant, you refused to give up on the goal, despite the hundreds of times that you fell down. You explored your surroundings and your body without judgement. You expressed yourself creatively without fear. You also taught yourself to talk! It was not long after this achievement that you began to build your mask, or what we call the personality.

Upon gaining understanding of the human language, you were told what is good or bad, right or wrong, acceptable and unacceptable. Over time, adults informed you of how you should live, what you can or can't do, and what you should become and how to be. Causing the mask to tighten over the dreams, ambitions, expressions and creative spirit within. Before you know it, you were doomed to repeat the cycle of the human trap.

You are not your personality. You are infinite potential. You are the inquisitive adventurer. All that you need to do, is take off the mask of comfort and safety, and face your fears! Here is the twist...Fears arent even yours. They dont belong to you! Fears are things that the world attempts to give you to turn you into another compliant clone. This was not the call on your life, or mine. We weren't born to comply, we were born to fly!

Take off the mask! Step out with the same determination you had when you took your first steps! Never give up! And if you have to give in, give in to your dreams! This was always the call and purpose for your life, to be what your inner child always aspired to be. To be happy, joyful and carefree.

After all between an adult and a child, which is generally more happy and joyful?

So....Who should be teaching who how to live?

Peace

Lets face it, it would seem that a large amount of people are not satisfied with their life. All around the world depression is on the rise, year after year. Anxiety is rife, and if you ask anybody about their outlook and certainty for the future, the response is often very bleak. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, short or tall, black or white, fat or thin. If you are experiencing unhappiness, you are most likely doing one, or all, of three things.

In my coaching career I have come to notice a pattern that people share when it comes to the lack of happiness or positivity that they are experiencing in their life. It comes down to three simple factors that are so very simple, yet have an incredibly profound effect on every aspect of a persons life, and how they perceive things to be. I call these factors the ‘Three C's to a miserable life’. All that is needed, is for a person to avoid partaking in these actions and things will begin turn around for the better.

For nearly all of my clients this has been a huge revelation for them, and a point in which they have been able to make significant shifts in attitude and outlook, resulting in a real sense of happiness.

So what are the three C's that you should avoid to ensure a happy life?

They are…Comparing. Criticising. Complaining.

Take a look at these human traits, and ask yourself how present they are in your day to day living. It may be hard to believe that these very common thoughts and actions could cause as much trouble in your life as I am stating, so I will break down these three poisonous pills, to give you a better understanding of the impact they can have on your mental wellbeing.

Comparing

Almost the worst of the lot. This is the proverbial "Keeping up with the Joneses" syndrome. If you allow yourself the punishment of being dissatisfied because somebody else has something that you don't, then prepare yourself to be unhappy. Comparison, will always distract you from your true purpose. Which is, to live YOUR life.

We are all meant to have what we are meant to have relative to what we want, and do with our lives. You're lack is not due to somebody else's hard work or good fortune, but is often a direct result of taking too much notice of other peoples lives at the neglect of your own. Its kind of like staring at another car in envy, while it would be far safer and more beneficial for you to be paying attention to driving the one that you are in. Before you know it, you're in an accident, and you've caused damage to the one you've got.

Comparing only ever devalues what you already have, and who you are. It can easily turn something into a problem that was completely okay with you until it was sized up with something else.

Comparison is the root of dissatisfaction, and if you can't be satisfied, you can't be happy.

The remedy, GRATITUDE. Be grateful for what you have and who you are. Be truly grateful. Meditate on those things, and ponder how you can feed and nurture them to grow and expand. You can only work with what you've got, not with what others have.

At all cost, avoid comparing in your relationships, especially those of an intimate nature. Don't give to get, in a relationship. Give because its simply what you want to do. If you find yourself saying something like “I’ve done this for you, and I gave you that, but you never give to me or do for me…” You are essentially turning a good and kind ACT into a transACTion, and all the value and worth is lost. This too, will send you down the slippery slope of the second C.

Complaining

The killer of momentum and happiness.

It is impossible to be positive and negative at the same time. Just as it is impossible to be happy and sad at the same time. This is the problem with complaining. It keeps you focused on an issue or problem, and in turn makes it very difficult to cultivate a mind set that is solution based.

This is the thing, complaining can easily become a habit. You may even know of somebody that is in the habitual cycle of complaining about everything all of the time. Here is the reason why. It takes a lot of work to create a habit, and just as much, if not more effort to break a habit. Not only that, but most habits are addictive in nature. So, as strange as it may seem, some people actually find pleasure and comfort in their complaining. The sad thing is that they often won't realise that it is the root cause of their deep dissatisfaction and unhappiness in their life. It is incredibly hard to see the silver lining in a less than favourable situation, when all you are focused on is what is wrong with it, opposed to what could be right about it.

So, next time you find yourself tempted to have a moan about something, instead of complaining, try, explaining. Just say it, and see it for what it is. Neither good or bad, but just an event. This will help you to process what has happened, and actually allow you the chance to come to terms with it. When you enter into a dialogue with yourself about a situation, you shift your mindset to solution based, and away from disillusioned based thinking.

Think of it this way. If you became stuck in the mud, no amount of complaining is ever going to get you out. But if you simply state the obvious to yourself, “Okay, I’m stuck in the mud”. You then open the way to ask the most important question, “What am I going to do about it”? Once you solve the problem, (and you will as long as you keep asking questions) you will be rewarded with a nice wee hit of the neurochemical dopamine, resulting in a side effect of happiness.

Criticising

This would have to be the most insidious of the Three C’s of misery. The reason is, that for some people they think that they are actually being helpful when they criticise. But, there is a clear difference between criticising, and giving sound advice or genuine inquiry.

When somebody criticises another person they tend to be doing one of two things. Either they are trying to hold them self above the other person by becoming the authority or one that knows best. Or, they are attempting to bring that person down and disempower them, by becoming the rectifier of all that is wrong.

It is important to see criticism for what it really is. A form of violence. It only ever tears down, and completely lacks creativity. That's why I don't believe in the folly of “constructive criticism”. I far more prefer the age old adage “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”!

The interesting thing about criticism, is that it exposes more about the person that is doing the criticising than it ever does about the person being criticised. Basically it is a display of the dissatisfaction that is already within a person. And, if you are not satisfied, it is very difficult to be happy.

The late Wayne Dyer had a great analogy. “If you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice”. Not apple juice, or cranberry juice, or coconut water. You get what is inside an orange.

When somebody feels the need to criticise, they have basically been squeezed, because something is coming out of them. If what comes out is hurtful, it is because they are full of hurt. If what comes out is encouraging, it is because they are courageous. This is the very thing that can tame the critical mind, COURAGE!

Courage means, of the heart. Encourage, means to put courage into. So, instead of criticising somebody, next time speak to that person from your heart. This will build them up and strengthen them to become a better person, as well as give them the chance to see the error of their ways in their own time. The great thing is, that you too benefit from this practice. In speaking from your heart you in turn build courage within yourself, and with courage comes strength. With strength comes confidence. With confidence comes self esteem. And, with self esteem comes happiness.

I want to leave you with a very cheesy rhyme to help, and remind you the next time you find yourself tempted to complain, criticise, or compare.

“Avoid the three C’s, to live a life of more ease”!

Peace

Why it is good that nothing lasts forever!

The polarity of life is the spark of consciousness, and consciousness is the waking state of living.

This blog can almost be summed up in one word....Appreciation.

You will never know just how much you appreciate the breath, until you find yourself gasping for air, and yet the majority of us seem to live our lives as if we are going to live forever. Going through each day, eating, drinking, walking and talking, all the while, living these actions out in a main-state of unconsciousness.

This is the problem. The subconscious mind is like the equivalent of a computer able to process up to 20 million bits of information per second. Whereas the conscious mind has the capacity to process a mere 40 bits of information per second. This really puts the state of mindful living into some perspective when it is evident that we are conscious of a tiny 5 % of our daily waking lives, at best! Not to mention when we are in the sleep state.

So what does this have to do with the idea of impermanence, and how important it is for us to embrace its powerful hidden teaching. Well, it is in the awareness of the things that display their impermanence in obvious and experiential ways to us, that we can raise the percentage and quality of our consciousness, and when you raise your conscious awareness, you expose a deeper sense of peace, love and self acceptance, that in turn extinguishes the presence of shame, blame and anxiety, and all the other emotions that find their roots in the false reality of fear.

For example, when you intentionally focus on your breath, it is the experience of the inward and outward, the coming and going that helps the mind to become more consciously present in the moment, because the moment is defined with a beginning and an end. What's more, there is a definite changing in sensation that also stimulates the conscious mind to focus and feel the moment in its reality.

But lets say, that when you were born, you just took one deep breath that carried on forever. It would not be long before you would become numb and lost in the white noise of permanence. Imagine experiencing one image, one sound, one word and one feeling for one eternity. I think that most would agree that this could be defined as being in a state of hell. You see, even if all these singular permanencies were good, they could never be known as such.

It is in the fact of TRUELY knowing that the morning follows the night, that one can invoke joy. That peace succeeds war. Darkness gives way to light, and finding, resolves the lost, that experience can ever be a conscious state of living.

To only ever know happiness, it would only take time before the novelty was lost and became a flat line. Again, as an example, the permanence of happiness would not be happiness at all, neither would it be un happiness. It would be NO-THING at all!

Its the unconscious mind that functions from a state of permanence. Going on and on with its activity, in rigid repetition. Never giving a notion to the fact that one day its animation will suddenly stop. It only ever gives awareness to the conscious mind when experiencing pleasure or pain, love or fear, and even then, the response of the subconscious mind will be short and sharp, and if not kept in check, will subsequently revert to some kind of habit, that lacks creativity or initiative.

The polarity of life is the spark of consciousness, and consciousness is the waking state of living.

So the next time you are experiencing sadness or depression, know that the law of impermanence demands the emergence of happiness. When the day has been long and painful, be sure that another day follows. And knowing that even being alive the next day is not a given, and that your life is as impermanent as a breath, you can't help but gain a greater conscious appreciation for the moment in which you live and have your being. Wether it be good or bad, high or low. You know, that one brings value to the other. Doesn't that just make life so much more valuable?

If you are reading this blog and haven't read the blog that I posted last week, it will will make far greater sense if you go back and read that one first.

So..... One week on a silent retreat, with five others learning an ancient form of meditation. Well, as I said in my last blog, not talking, is a rather challenging thing for me. And I've gotta say, that was not the only thing that was challenged in the silence and introspection!

I have irregularly practiced some form of meditation over the last 20 odd years, but intentionally setting aside a committed in-depth and consistent practice for a week, twice a day, for long lengths of time, became, what I could only describe as a spiritual sledge hammer to my ego.

Of course this was not warmly received by my ego, and the inner tantrum that ensued ended up manifesting itself physically. My back was already causing me huge discomfort due to an old accident and recent strain, but by the third night at the retreat, I was contemplating leaving the next day to book my self into hospital from the agony I was experiencing. But there was more going on than I knew.

The teacher showed genuine empathy and offered healing in some of the breaks through the next day. The next day after that, it was like something had shifted. The pain had subsided significantly, and my meditations seemed to go to another level.

I was learning things about myself that I knew, but was not giving enough care too. I faced my truths, and exposed the lies. I could see the light of life, as the darkness of the ego was beginning to dispel, like an early morning cloud, dissipating under the blazing energy of the rising sun. I could perceive the inner light was making the ego so cramped it's only protection was to afflict my body in an attempt to stop me from pursuing this practice that was threatening the egos's very existence.

The experience, of course, can only be truly known by me.

When the time came to Leave the retreat, I found myself driving home with a deeper sense of awareness. This really exposed to me just how desensitised we have become to the rush, commotion, and urgency, that the vast majority of people seem to have, to get to the next moment. I could clearly see places and situations where care was taken, such as trimmed hedges and proudly kept properties; and where care was not, evidenced by rubbish laying around in gutters and pathways. I felt that I had become hypersensitive to everything. The numbness of so called 'REALITY' had lifted. With the eyes and ears of my heart wide open to all that was going on around me, I could see and understand that BEAUTY, TRUTH and COMPASSION, can only be truely known through the lens of self realisation and the subsequent eviction of the ego.

I am more convinced than ever, of my calling passion in life, to help others break free from their self imprisonment of the matrix that I calI 'UNREALITY'. With this conviction in my heart, I feel less shame in my weaknesses, and as I do, I seem to find a kind of strength in them.

I will be posting up as many blogs as my painfully slow typing will allow, and I hope that you will join me as we explore more ideas around a purposefully fulfilled and intuitively led life, that can generate happiness without attachment.

Namaste

Some last words before I go.......

Those that know me well, know that I am a bit of a talker. It's something that I just can't help. Once I start talking it's like I get on a perpetual motion of what would almost seem like glossolalia to the person on the receiving end of my rant.

I find that some people are happy to listen, while for others, it could be a rather painful thing to be subjected to. For both of those types of listeners, I am very grateful for them gracefully giving me their ear.

As a Life Coach, I spend a fair amount of time challenging people to face certain areas in their life, and see if they can view it from a different angle or maybe try something that they haven't tried before. Either way, we work together to dis-cover the hidden treasure within, and bring about positive change to the things that are less than favourable in their life.

Well, I too have things that I would like to approach from a different angle, and/or change in my life. A number of months ago my partner Nikki whom is a progressive counsellor/

coach, and co-founder of Heart Mind Health, suggested that we both go on a week long silent retreat at The Self-Realisation Meditation Healing Centre. As you may guess, for a prolific talker such as myself, this is the challenge of challenges, But, I was up for it, if at first a little reluctantly.

As we have approached the day that we go into the centre for the experience of learning Pure Meditation and keeping our words to ourselves, I have actually become very excited about the whole thing. It's going to be a time to slow things down, grow spiritually, get more introspective, learn more about myself, and of course, give my mouth a much needed rest, which I am sure will be a huge relief to those that are closest to me ;-P

Today we leave for the centre full of anticipation and promise. Not completely sure of just how this will change us, but if there is one thing that I have learnt as a coach to be the most powerful thing for someone to do to create positive change, is, if you do something different, things WILL be different in your life.

I will be sure to post about this experience in my next blog, and hope to come out the other side a better coach, father, friend, partner, listener, and of course a better person and contributor to the world.

We all know how how it feels. That sense of discouragement and defeat, when you have tried numerous times to achieve something and it just hasn't panned out. I hear it from many people and clients that I coach. The tone that comes out of them is negative, and it can seem that nothing ever goes right for them. You know, that old saying that most of us have said at some point in our lives, when some situation has gone pear-shaped, "THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME"! And you know what? Saying this to yourself often enough, will help you to prove yourself to be right.

Well isn't proving yourself to be right about something a good thing? Yes it is, but only for the EGO! Thats right, your ego cares about nothing else but BEING RIGHT! It just seems to get its being from simply that goal, and nothing else. The ego doesn't care if something or someone is good for you or bad for you, it only ever cares about being right. Think about this for yourself... Now ask yourself, "what is it that I truly know about my ego?"

You will come to see, that the ego is just not some self preserving entity, or self inflating part of the personality that is out to make the arrogant strut in the face of other peoples misfortunes, or find joy in the standing on heads on its way to the top of the social ladder. The ego WILL, and DOES ruin, and attempt to destroy the life of its host just to prove itself right. Being right is were it gets its energy.

Now this is going to sound counter intuitive, but hear me out!

The best thing you can do, when you think that you can't do or achieve something.... Is....Prove yourself WRONG.

Now I know you might think that it would seem that this is an actual building up of the ego, but nothing could be further from the truth. This is when you are building up true self confidence, and true self esteem. This is at the same time putting the ego in its place, which is out of the drivers seat.

So, it's actually okay to be wrong from time to time. More than that, if you feel that you can do no good, being wrong, would actually be a good thing.

This could be a very handy strategy for someone that tends to be negative.

Go on, prove yourself wrong. It could be one of the best things you ever do!